Dear 2018,

It’s hard to believe you’ll be over in a few hours, especially since I wasn’t sure how I would survive the year. The past 365 days have brought a lot of growth, spiritually, mentally and emotional. I am eternally grateful for the gift that all of the trials and tribulations have brought with them and I can’t wait for what 2019 will bring.

Dear 2018, you taught me to truly TRUST, to trust blindly and not question what was to come. The Lord asked me to step out in faith in a very bold way and I did. After fighting with myself for a really long time I finally decided to give up control and trust what was to come. I trusted, stepped out in faith and the Lord came through so clearly and tangibly. (more of this story to come next year). 

2018, you taught me that IT’S OK, TO NOT BE OK. For more than 10 years now, I’ve been battling a silent war with depression and anxiety. I say silent because I’ve never said this out loud until this past year. I’ve learned that not feeling ok, is ok. That I need to let myself live in the bad moments, as much as I live in the good. I need to let myself feel all the emotions and let myself heal. With this I’ve also learned that I can’t fight this war alone. I’ve found people I can share my story with, but most important I’ve learned that taking medication and seeing a therapist is part of that journey and that I shouldn’t feel ashamed of seeking help.

Dear 2018, you’ve taught me to LOVE. You’ve shown me how important it is to love myself and how it starts by being kinder to myself. You’ve shown me parts of me that I didn’t know existed and reminded me of others I had tucked away a long time ago. You’ve shown me how strong and resilient I can in the face of adversity and how that stems from loving myself. You’ve shown me that loving myself means allowing myself to get lost in order to find myself again. That loving myself means sometimes being a bit selfish and cutting toxic people from my life. You’ve shown me that loving myself means taking care of myself and that I can only start one step at a time.

Dear 2018, you’ve shown me true FRIENDSHIP. You’ve opened my eyes to those who seek to find joy with me and those who only seek to find joy at the expense of me. Thank you! Thank you for opening my eyes to see a bit better and for those who have tirelessly listened to me sob, to me cheer, to me complain and cry through out the year as I was growing. Thank you for true friendship.

Dear 2018, Thank you for all these lessons. Most of all, thank you for the opportunity to have lived through them and learned from them. Dear 2019, I ask for peace in the coming year so that I can faithfully do God’s work, carrying the living light of Christ and being able to share it with others.

In Christ,

Mayra Fernanda